I’ve covered those who live in my house, but family doesn’t end there. Well… if you’re only counting blood relatives you remain in touch with it comes close. I’m going to be more liberal.
Blood
This is difficult for me. I’ve got one of those new fangled “modern” families with divorce and re-marriage and all that. The lines of connection are fairly easy to keep track of, but when it comes to actually talking about everyone it gets really hard. The relationships, while full of love, are complex and messy. There’s back-story and unresolved feelings. Hallmark is just plain useless.
But through it all there’s love. It seems strange to me, but I have very few memories of my youth. Ages 0-5: I’ve got exactly one that comes to mind. I have more stories, but only one memory. The school years are a little less sparsely populated… but not much. That said, of the few memories I have, nearly all of my family - from grandparents to cousins - are there. Many of those people aren’t in my present, but they are in my past. And I’m sure, in ways large and small, each has left something with me, some imprint that helps to create the person I am today.
Marriage
While I have lost touch with a huge portion of my own extended, blood family, I’m fortunately enough to have married into a large family that remains close. Like crazy close. As in “close-enough-to-still-drive-each-other-crazy-on-an-almost-daily-basis” close. My first experience with the whole family was at a cousin’s wedding. Picture it with me: one of the older Pittsburgh neighborhoods; an elaborate and stunning Catholic sanctuary. On the left, the bride’s family, most of whom aren’t more than two generations removed from Mexico. Those are my in-laws.
Welcome to the family…
(The groom’s side had a strong ethnically Italian look about them. I told Kerri I felt like I had walked into The Godfather.)
You remember what I look like, right? I stood out like… well… like a pasty Irishman in a family of Mexicans.
I still do, but I’m glad to be a part of the family. As someone who remembers but doesn’t know most of my own extended family, I’m thankful my kids have cousins and aunts and uncles and great-grandparents that they know.
Honorary Family
We’ve got blood. We’ve got marriage. We’ve also got the “honorary” family. These are the aunts and uncles who aren’t really aunts and uncles. Those long-time family friends who just that close and dear. The parents of friends who did their own share of parenting you back in the day.
Honorary family is one of the best parts of living in the same town for 20 years. Thinking about it just know there are easily a few dozen relationships that go back more than a decade. That’s a big deal to someone who grew up an Air Force brat. At my best friend’s wedding, the seven of us groomsmen (including the groom) had all known each other for at least 15 years. My kids call his mom by the same nickname as her grandkids. That’s cool.
Today, I express my thanks for family of all kinds.